Emphasis- Natalie

      Growing up a hip hop fan I used to watch the music videos and be fascinated by the video vixens. Vida Guerra, Rosa Acosta and Melyssa Ford were all my next ex-wives at one point. Whenever I looked at a King or Show Magazine spread I felt like I didn't learn anything about the model on a personal level. If there was an interview in the spread it was done in a way to feed the male sexual fantasy. 

      I'm here to tell you that David P and I are about to change that. The aim is to turn dream girls into girls next door. Bridging the gap between dreams and reality, that's what we're all about. Our brand has one cardinal rule: No bikini shots. We're not in the business of putting out thirst traps. We're in the business of celebrating women for who they are. Ladies and gentleman, it is with great honor that David P and I present "Emphasis- Natalie."

2015-2016 NBA Wishlist w/ ThatDude

1.        Wolves flirt with .500 - (Deion): I’ve been a fan of Wiggins since his high school Hoopmixtape. And I’ve always had a soft spot for Ricky Rubio. This year I’m going on a limb and adding the Wolves to my NBA League Pass order. I’m not expecting a Cinderella playoff run for the Wolves, but at the same time, I kinda don’t want to see my money go down the drain with another 16-66 season. All I’m asking for is at least 40 wins this season. It’s possible, with the new additions of Tyus Jones and Karl Anthony Towns, this team could work the kinks out. If not, we can attribute it to the fact that they’re inaccurately in the Western Conference (geographically speaking) and we should send a petition to the NBA to bring them to the East so they can see at least one playoff appearance within the next 10 years.  
(ThatDude): It’s been a rough…well, decade for the Minnesota Timberwolves. Now they are finally starting to pull their scrawny arms out of the hole of disappointments and flex the new muscles they’ve been gaining. The Minnesota Timberwolves are stacked with young, athletic talent that can get any nonchalant NBA fan jumping out of their couch, calling their significant others asking “DID YOU SEE THAT?” when you know for damn sure that they didn’t. Zach Lavine put on one of the most impressive displays I’ve seen in a dunk contest last year and Andrew Wiggins in 1-season can already have a calendar of his posterizers. In addition, a healthy Rubio can have us all drop our jaws asking “HOW DID HE MAKE THAT PASS?” With the addition of Karl-Townes and Tyus Jones, all I can ask for is that the T-Wolves finally do some flexing and get a respectable (for them) 40 wins.

2.       LeBron wins DPOY (Defensive Player of the Year)- (Deion): I’m particularly biased with this one. LeBron is my favorite player and he should be yours too. He’s won almost every accolade in the league so far minus a slam dunk contest win which he will not participate in for whatever reason… Anyway, he really wants this award, and if not for this year, give him DPOY for all the years he’s humbled somebody with a chase-down block. Just please don’t let it be between Dwight, Kawhi and Draymond again. Give it to Anthony Davis, buddy deserves it. He got like four blocks a game last season.

(ThatDude): LeBron is undoubtedly one of the best defenders the league has seen. He can guard you past the 3-point line if you’re a PG and he’ll outmuscle most bigs in the post. Dwight and Draymond aren’t capable of guarding a PG and Kawhi could guard a post player, but he’ll have a more difficult time than LeBron. However, with that said, LeBron shouldn’t be the Defensive POY. Chase-down blocks are fun, but they aren’t consistent. LeBron is a scorer for his team and as a result he’ll occasionally take a break on the defensive end. Defensive Player of the year should be Tony Allen because, let’s be honest, what else does the guy have?

3.       Warriors get put in their place - (ThatDude): First and foremost, let me congratulate the Golden State Warriors on winning the 2015 championship. With that being said, these Warriors need a reality check and need to be put back in their place, particularly Curry and “YeeeeeUp” Green. Curry throughout the finals was flexing like he was David beating Goliath. It’s true, LeBron is the Goliath of the league, but in no means necessary are the Cavs, especially an injured Cavs team, a Goliath. They simply won a 5 on 1 finals (LeBron vs Golden State Warriors), and barely at that as well. Curry and Mr. “Drunkly Call the Cavaliers Trash” Green need to realize quickly that they are no means an unstoppable team and that they are not as good as they think they are.

(Deion): I’m not even going to congratulate the Warriors for defeating an injury ridden team that they should’ve swept. Stephen Curry has seen his last MVP and I’ve seen enough of Riley Curry to last me two lifetimes. Hit me up when she’s dating Derrick Rose’s kid. I can’t wait to see the Spurs rip them to shreds. LaMarcus Aldridge and David West are going to have their ways with the Mouse in the House that is Draymond Green. The Warriors will not win 60 games next season. They might not even make it to the Western Conference Finals. The Warriors are a great team, but they will never be a dynasty. They’re a mere footnote in NBA history. So if the media and the general public could ease up on the nut hugging, that’d be great. And off the record, Steve Kerr being hired was the best thing to happen to 2K, dude was a jerk as a commentator.

4.       The Resurrection of El Trece - (ThatDude): It wasn’t too long ago that I looked at my two friends in the eyes and said “Paul George is going to be better than Kevin Durant one day.” If it weren’t for the tragic injury he had with Team USA, I think he’d be pretty close to accomplishing that. But even with the injury, a part of me still believes this guy is going to be a top 5 player and maybe top 3. Albeit, I am more skeptical than I was in past years, he’s simply too special of a player not to. 2016 is the year of El Trece.

(Deion): While I’m by no means a Pacer fan, I agreed with you when you said PG would one day surpass KD in talent. PG’s leg injury is a huge blow; but KD is also suffering setbacks with his foot, so we’re still not too far off with that prediction. The Pacers need PG more than ever now that Hibbert and West are gone so we’ll see if he steps up and puts his big boy pants on. Hopefully for Indy, Monta Ellis brings something to the table. One thing’s for sure, the Heat will have a winning record over them.

5.       Lakers stay at the kiddie table - (ThatDude): Last year the Lakers had their worst season in franchise history, and to be frank, I’m ready for another terrible season by the Lakers. I’m not saying for it to be as bad as it was last year, but…I’m hoping it’s just as bad. The Lakers (and their fans) are the most annoying franchise in professional sports. They always feel that they’re entitled, that everything should come easy to them and that they shouldn’t have to work hard. Last year the Lakers won a whopping 21 games, and this off-season them and their fans still felt that any player would be lucky to play alongside Kobe in their piss-colored uniforms with hints of pimp purple. I’m tired of this “…but we have 16 championships” bull-crap. IT’S ABOUT TIME THE LAKERS STRUGGLE AND HARVEST RATHER THAN GETTING THESE HOT AND READY ATHLETES THAT REQUIRE NO PATIENCE! Time to build your team, Lakers, and raise them. You’re not the desired girl that every guy wants to have around their arms anymore. You were that, but then you started going to Dunkin Donuts everyday, until you started weighing 400 pounds with no-one looking twice at you.

(Deion): You hit the nail on the coffin with this one, Eddie. One thing I’d like to add is that D’Angelo Russell is not and will not be the savior of the Lakers. I’m sorry, but an unathletic guard who passes well? Sounds like a domestic Rubio with a jumpshot. Spare me the Jason Kidd and Magic Johnson comparisons; D’Angelo is “okay.” He’s definitely not the best player in the draft. We’ll see where he goes. Randle is done and so is Hibbert. We’re going to see another season of Kobe earning a crap ton of money to sit and shake his head at his team celebrating their 16th win. At least Iggy Azalea will be courtside. Have fun at the kiddie table, L.A. Shoutout to Brian Windhorst.

For more sports talk from ThatDude, follow his blog at http://thatdudesportspage.blogspot.com/

Trainwreck review

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t an Amy Schumer fan coming in to see “Trainwreck.” All I know about her is that sex is a big topic in her act. The thing that made me go see it was LeBron James. Being the LeBron fan that I am, I had to see his acting debut. It was well worth it because I enjoyed his role and the movie.

Schumer stars as Amy, a reporter for a popular magazine in New York City. She’s the fun loving, promiscuous, partial alcoholic and casual pot smoking bachelorette foil to her straight laced and married sister, Kim played by Brie Larson. The story begins when Amy’s aggressive editor/boss assigns her to interview big time sports doctor Aaron Conners played by Bill Hader.

I’m not sure if Amy Schumer is really a sports fan, but the sports inclusion to the plot really helped me stay interested. That may make me sound like a typical guy but it’s the truth. With a little under a half hour of screen time, LeBron proved to be a pretty good comedic actor. I wouldn’t mind seeing him in more flicks. Especially if he quotes Kanye again. That put the biggest smile on my face.

Besides LeBron, “Trainwreck” has lots of funny supporting cast members and cameos. John Cena was great in the short time he was there and I loved Marv Albert’s appearance. Randall Park was funny as always. Brie Larson—who I’ve been seeing a lot of lately—and Amy Schumer make great onscreen sisters and it was great seeing stand-up comedians Mike Birbiglia, Leslie Jones, and Pete Davidson bring laughs. Method Man’s cameo was also a plus. Nobody can deny Amy Schumer’s writing talents. She’s definitely a student of Woody Allen and the references to his works are clear as day: the main character is a writer based in New York City, there was a lot of NYC landscape porn, the popular bridge scene from Manhattan was sort of referenced, and “Rhapsody in Blue” was played.   

It’s become a well-known signature for Judd Apatow films to be funny but too long. No comedy should be 2 hours long; especially a Rom-com. A little over halfway into the movie my friends were more amused with breaking news of Ty Lawson going to the Houston Rockets. I could’ve done without the awkward, intern sex scene. His character was completely useless. The gay jokes were a bit much. I didn’t need to see John Cena’s ass or buddy’s in the beginning.

This movie was well worth the full price. It’s a smart, hilarious flick with a female lead. It doesn’t hit you over the head with femininity—I’m not even sure if this passed the Bechdel test—and it’s not overly sexual. Amy isn’t meant to be America’s Sweetheart and she isn’t meant to repulse you either. She’s amusing. Kind of like a blend of Elaine Bennes from Seinfeld, Carrie from Sex and City and an emotionally scrambled female character. After seeing this I think I’ll look into more of Schumer’s stuff. I give “Trainwreck” 4 out of 5 stars. 

An Open Letter to the Developers of NBA 2K

      After a far too common outrage during a game of NBA 2K14's My Career mode, I decided to quit the game, put the controller down and vent out my frustrations on my laptop. This is the result:

  

      It’s one thing for a game to be difficult, it’s another thing for it to be downright corrupted. Lately, playing 2K MyCareer has felt like playing the slots at some sleazy casino and hoping that I at least make my own money back. I’m cheated left and right. Any way that I can look bad, I will. Any way that I can be penalized, I will. Whether it be getting a block or steal and not getting back fast enough and getting a “bad transition offense” penalty or playing help defense on a player who’s clearly hot and having no one else on my team step up and help while “my man” drains a 3. It's honestly gotten to the point where playing  feels like I'm trying to beat the AI 20% and the 80% is me trying to beat the game itself.

    

    I’m sick of it. I really am. I’m sick of my teammates not being able to block shots and only goaltend. I’m sick of not being able to make a clean, inside pass but the opposing team can throw the ball and have it slither to the intended recipient. I’m sick of seeing players going through each other and the ball as well. It’s 2015; 2013 when that game came out. Do you realize that I saw that stuff in NBA Ballers Phenom which came out in 2004? Damn near 10 ago. So what's really changed in basketball video games? Enhanced player imitation and the incorporation of social media, wow. 

      This is why I am growing sick and tired of 2K. They do everything they can to make the game look cutting edge and state of the art but they do diddly squat when it comes to patching up the gameplay mechanics. Over ten years in and 2K is still buggy with glitches out the wazoo. I could care less about who's behind the next soundtrack. I don't need to see Shaq an Ernie talk about the game I'm about to play. Just fix the freaking gameplay! 

      
      Why the hell is my player so cold lately? What was the point of buying the "Finisher" trait when I miss open and/or minimally contested layups? What’s the point of jacking up my mid-range if I miss open and excellent releases 60% of the time? Why is it so hard to dunk? I can understand speed and three pointers being tough to acquire but there are a lot of Hoopmixtapes out there that are 90% dunks. If anything, dunking is elementary for anyone above 6’3 with half an ounce of athleticism. Apparently not in the world 2K! Why is it that before March, 60 games in, he would drive to the paint with ease with the anticipation of making the layup or getting fouled. Now my 6’8 250 lbs player is driving to the lane and getting swatted like he's 5’8 and 120 lbs. Does the competition get harder as the season nears its end? Do the impending playoffs make players amp up and become the premier ballers that most of them are? If so, i call B.S. for two reasons: One, I play each team at least twice so the drastic change from tough team to indomitable team is truly ridiculous. Two, shouldn’t I be better as well? I’m playing in the same exact way, making the same moves I’ve made since I started popping off. You can’t tell me the AI has caught on. The AI is smart enough to know what my next move is going to be but it isn’t smart enough to shoot a wide open shot or guard someone who’s been unstoppable from beyond the arc or go over a damn screen?

                                     

      When played well by both sides, basketball is a beautiful battle of wits, similar to a chess match. Playing this game feels like I’m at a 22nd century arcade. Certain players’ abilities have become exaggerated to the point of exhaustion. In 2K15 why does Derrick Rose drive down the right side and do a sideways reverse slam without breaking a sweat at least once per game? Why is Kevin Durant unable to miss? Why is Stephen Curry able to shoot lights out but can't drive confidently to the basket?  

      Fix your steal mechanics. One tap of square shouldn’t automatically equal a foul. Fix your block mechanics, I couldn’t tell you how many times a player is driving in from the left and my big man wants to block but he’s facing the crowd and swatting towards them. I cannot tally how many times a player has shot and my defender swats in the shooters vicinity but not in his direction. Fix your rebounding mechanics. It irks me every time an opposing player gets an offensive rebound and scoops it back in without looking in nanoseconds all while bellowing like a seal. Fix your overall defense mechanics. At times I feel like my defenders are one roller skates. And if I'm not getting blown by, I'm on the other side of the ball getting bumped by player while my guy struggles to maintain his balance whilst dribbling the ball, unable to pass or shoot for a good three Mississippis. and by the frequency of this occurring you'd think it happens in every game, but you don't. You know why? BECAUSE IT RARELY HAPPENS. Playing good defense is insanely difficult  compared to being efficient offensively. One push too far on the analog stick and your opponent is a walking highlight reel.

      Last fall I met a guy who never played a game of 2K in his life until 2K15. Within 2 months of casual playing he knew the mechanics of the game. He would explain the reasoning behind my grievances to me as if he himself were one of the game developers. He didn’t lock himself away and play the game. He didn’t watch YouTube tutorials. He just played and watched others play and he figured it all out in a short amount of time. I don’t know about you, but that’s pathetic. One couldn’t do that with Super Mario Smash Bros. or Fifa or Madden. I hope this tells you something, 2K. I hope you take this not as a fiery rant but as a message to step up. 

      Just because your competition has been long left in the dust doesn’t mean consumers won’t catch on to the fact that they’ve been buying the same broken game for nearly 3 years now. I’d like to think that my $60 goes to more than a roster update and flashy add-ons. You know what to do. 2K11 and 2K12 were astounding. They may have had their issues here and there, but we could tell that the ambition was there. The public consumer is not as much of an idiot as you’d think. Believe me, I’m not the only one who feels this way. Spare me the celebrity endorsements and face scanning mumbo jumbo. Make a stellar game. You have the technology and the resources. You’ve been serving us gruel when you know good and damn well that you can make a 5 star lobster dinner!

This picture is originally titled "Reasons Why I Lose in Fifa" but it applies here just as well.

Drake: GOAT or BORN? (Best Out Right Now)

      I was driving around with my good friend and he showed me Meek Mill’s new song “R.I.C.O.” Drake’s opening verse stole the show, as usual. “The girl of your dreams, to me, is probably not a challenge.” Damn! Then I started thinking, Drake is really “that dude” right now. There really isn’t much out here that’s popping off without him. My friend asked if Drake never existed who would be the go-to guy to listen to after a break-up. My answer was Kanye because 808s and “Blame Game” get the job done. But it got me thinking, why is it that Drake’s name STILL isn’t mentioned among the greats in hip hop?

      Drake has come a long way since his 2006 debut. And it’s safe to say that his Degrassi days haven’t hindered him at all. When you hear the Heartbreak Drake you’re hearing “The Boy” trying to get noticed. So Far Gone and Thank Me Later features that “Drizzy” making his presence felt while making sure not to step on anyone’s toes. It’s not until Nothing Was the Same when “The Boy” became “The Man” and Drake realized he was the ruler of his own lane. Two lines from this period best exemplify Drake’s realization. 

“Give these niggas the look, the verse and even the hook/ that’s why every song sounds like Drake featuring Drake” – 5AM in Toronto

“Look, fuck all that ‘happy to be here’ shit that y’all want me on/ I’m the big homie they’ll still be tryna lil bro me, dawg.” –Pound Cake/ Paris Morton Music 2

      He may be the big homie but what is it that makes the O.Gs not acknowledge this? It might be his content.

      99% of rappers who are considered legends have been conscious in their lyrics. In some cases, it was their conscious content that made everyone pay attention. *Cough—N.W.A! Even rappers like Kanye who wasn’t brought up in a stereotypically rough environment knew what was going in the world and put it in his music. Drake has no excuse. And while it may not be a rappers duty to tackle social issues it’s peculiar that a megastar of Drake’s caliber is never even asked his thoughts on current events. If Ja Rule can get on Fox News and talk about Ferguson, can we at least get a tweet, Drake? Let me know if I’m wrong because I’ve never heard him speak up on any social issues. And spare me the fact that he’s Canadian. I’m pretty sure there’s more going on in Toronto than Scarborough and basketball. Some people prefer entertainers not use their power to speak out, fair enough. 

      Another thing that hinders Drake from joining the GOAT debate is a classic album.

      His first mixtape, Room for Improvement came out in 2006, NWTS came out in 2013. Meaning it took seven years and six EPs for him to be the titan that he is now. Out of all the titles in his discography, none are heralded classics. There isn’t one album or mixtape that people who aren’t huge Drake fans can listen to from start to finish any day of the week. 20 years from now, how much weight will “Take Care” or “So Far Gone” hold? Who’s going to remember where they were when If You’re Reading This It’s Too Late came out? He doesn’t have one title that critics and rap fans will forever pin to his name. Biggie has Ready to Die. Nas has Illmatic. Jay has Reasonable Doubt, The Blueprint, and The Black Album. Kanye has all of his solo albums. Kendrick Lamar has good kid, m.A.A.d City. 

      In his defense, Drake doesn’t make classic albums; he makes hit records. Like most pop stars, Drake is very formulaic. We know what to expect from him by now. He’s either going to talk about past relationships, Canada or his wealth and status. His family and Memphis references are sprinkled in here and there. With that being said, he doesn’t necessarily experiment with sounds or themes. He sticks to what works—which is what a lot of artists do. He makes songs for hip hop heads (5AM in Toronto, Lord Knows), he makes club bangers (The Motto, Know Yourself) and he makes songs for the ladies (Marvin’s Room, Jungle). 

      Who knows, maybe Views From the 6 will invalidate this entire post. I wouldn’t mind if it did. My cousin once told me that people will soon get tired of Drake. Every star eventually fades. I can’t see him doing so anytime soon. Drake has been one of the biggest names in music for the past 5 years. His music has been the soundtrack for an entire generation. Is Drake one of the greats? I think so, but there’s are a few asterisks by his name.