Dude, It's Just a Game

How to know when you’ve gone too far in video game raging…

 

                Fall is here and with that comes the usual lineup of sports video games and first-person shooters. According to the calendar, Madden comes out late August, Fifa comes out mid-September, NBA 2K comes out early October and Call of Duty comes out mid-November.

                This season seems to be the biggest time of the year for video game franchises, most titles coming out post-New Years are usually role playing or sandbox games that don’t want to get involved in the battle for holiday supremacy. That doesn’t seem to hinder their sales; for example, Grand Theft Auto games come out in spring and they always sell well.

                Since we’re talking about video games I want to discuss something that plagues most gamers. It’s an issue that gets worse with each generation: raging. From the annoying dog that laughed at you in Duck Hunt to noob-tubers in MW2, video games have been pissing people off for over 30 years. It’s human nature to get angry and feel cheated; I’ve thrown plenty of tantrums in my younger days. My favorite rage moment happened after I blew an 18 point lead against  my friend in NBA 2K11. I was down by two and I had the ball on his side of the court with less than 10 seconds left. I frantically tried to call a timeout to no avail and I lost the game. With my friend standing next to me I jumped up and yelled “[THAT’S] F_CKING BULLSH_T,” threw my controller on my bed and pushed my computer chair to the floor. Not only did I look like a maniac in front my friend, but the left trigger on the controller popped off. When I failed to put it back in place I threw it at my window and it burst into tiny pieces. That episode cost me $25 for a new controller and an awkward ending to a hangout.   

                You would think that after some time I’ve matured and changed my ways. Well, you thought wrong. This month I got in an altercation with a kid who was probably younger than 16 after he beat me badly in 2K. To be fair, he messaged me first saying “You suck, ha ha.” I demanded a rematch and he declined so I proceeded to verbally assault him with vicious messages. He responded with juvenile statements, but I got the last word in the end so take that Josethebeast01! This week I received a probation warning in Black Ops 2 after sending a sardonic message asking a player how the virgin life is treating him. I couldn’t help it. He went around stabbing people in Gun Game! I mean, c’mon, who does that?!

                I always tell myself that I’m going to play video games with my kids one day. And if they beat me I don’t know how I’ll respond. I might be proud of them, I might send them to military school, only time will tell. There comes a time when you must realize that breaking things, punching holes in walls and shouting obscenities through a headset isn’t worth it.

You know you need to calm down when…

·         Your raging has cost you X amount of dollars in property damages.

·         Your friends know how you get when you lose so they prepare themselves for your sore loser fury.

·         You need a stress ball/ punching bag/ personal counselor near you while you’re playing.

·         Your constant profanity led to the creation of a Swear Jar.

·         Your anger gives you migraines.

·         You cry after losing.

·         Your loved ones refuse to get near or even look at you when you pick up the controller.

·         Sharp objects are locked away when you’re about to play.

·         You make frequent visits to anger management classes.

·         You’re forced to play in a room where all of the furniture is plush and non-destructible.

·         In the midst of your warpaths you are shot with a tranquilizer and you wake up in a laboratory.

So what’s the best way to relax? Laugh.

             It’s 2014 and video games are still aggravatingly flawed. Glitches, noobs, trash talk, and indomitable foes aren’t going anywhere. You just have to accept it. People often look ridiculous when they’re absolutely livid, especially when it’s for a stupid reason. You don’t want to make other people happy at your expense. So just laugh it off. If you have to get mad, get mad, but don’t lose your composure. Do whatever it takes as long as it doesn’t involve quitting the game. For the love of all things good and evil do not put the controller down. Don’t even think about it! Rage quitting? What are you, 12 years old? PICK UP THE STICKS AND PLAY, YOU PANSY!