In all seriousness, if my absence affected you, I'm sorry.
Where have I been, you ask? I've been hustling. Trying to finish my senior year strong so the announcer can say that I graduated with honors as I Crip Walk across the stage. Trying to make sure my staff exceeds their own expectations and develop as better writers and people every week. Trying to be a better boyfriend and ward off any Rico-Suave-Nupe-Tool-Kappa-Douchebag lightskin dude who thinks he can shoot his shot because me and Sunshine are long distance.
Love you, babe.
I'm also trying to keep my sanity while I make 10 page lesson plans that every teacher I encounter looks at for one second then shakes her head and deems "a waste of time." I'm trying to write these scripts so that a Hollywood producer, Issa Rae or both reach out to me and give me an opportunity to leave this place behind and live out my dreams as a screenwriter for TV and film. Maybe that way I can have more in common with Kanye, us being college dropouts and all, and when I meet him I don't have to just blurt out a bunch of "remember when you's" like Chris Farley on SNL.
Speaking of Kanye, I'm also trying to meet Rob Haze and Sir Chris Daniels and get on The Book of Ye Podcast because that's been a goal of mine since the beginning of last month and I believe I'm pretty close to making it happen. Also, I'm sure one of them plays 2K, so if we could get a game in, that'd be fresh too.
We have a lot of catching up to do; and we will, trust me. But for now. It's December and Christmas is 20 days away. With all the craziness going on with school, work and the future, the one thing that keeps me sane is writing. And since the holiday season is in full swing, I figure I write something pertaining to the holidays.
Here's a scene from a Christmas special I'm working on titled "The Smurf and Smiley Christmas Special" it's based on a book I wrote with my good friend in middle school. Let me know what you think, and more importantly, happy holidays.
THE SMURF AND SMILEY CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
written by
Deion A. Sainvil
EXT. BIG BALLER WONDERLAND
Picture a Winter Wonderland with Triple B's on all of the
ornaments hanging from trees and Triple B's branded on the
trees as well.
SMILEY (10, black kid with striped shirt and Atlanta Braves
cap) treads through the snow not knowing where he is or how
he got here.
As he walks past three snowmen shaped like Lonzo, LiAngelo
and LaMelo he hears the light trotting of REINDEER.
Smiley turns and sees a sleigh being lead by reindeer, all
wearing Big Baller Brand stocking caps.
Manning the sleigh is none other than LaVar Ball himself who
is also wearing a BBB stocking cap and purple and gold BBB
sweats.
The reindeer continue to trot ahead of Smiley as the sleigh
matches speed alongside Smiley.
LAVAR BALL
Well hey there, Smiley! Nice of you
to stop by during the holidays!
SMILEY
LaVar Ball?!
LAVAR BALL
Well it ain't Santa Claus!
SMILEY
What are you doing here?
LAVAR BALL
That's a question I should be
asking you. This here is my holiday
estate. My, Big Baller Wonderland,
if you will
SMILEY
What is this place?
LAVAR BALL
I just told you what it is! Now,
are you gonna hop in or keeping
freezing your butt off walking in
all this snow?
Smiley accepts Lavar's invitation. Lavar is all smiles as
they ride along.
SMILEY
Where are we going?
LAVAR BALL
Don't worry, we'll be someplace
warm. But that's not why you're
here though
SMILEY
It isn't?
LAVAR BALL
Word on the street is you and your
old man got into it on account of
the ZO2s.
SMILEY
(looking down)
Yeah, I wanted a pair for
Christmas, but he won't buy them
LAVAR BALL
And why is that?
SMILEY
Because they're too expensive
LAVAR BALL
Yeah them ZO2s do cost a pretty
penny. Trust me, I would know
SMILEY
But I told him I didn't want
anything else except for those and
he doesn't even have to get me
anything for my birthday either. My
birthday's in June! I'm sacrificing
6 months of gifts for one pair of
shoes!!
LAVAR BALL
Sounds like he wasn't too
interested in your proposal
SMILEY
It's not fair! All I want for
Christmas is to be a Big Baller and
my dad won't let that happen. I
told him I'll buy the shoes myself
and won't get him anything.
LAVAR BALL
Naw, naw, that's not ALL that you
said
SMILEY
What?
LAVAR BALL
What else did you say? C'mon,
finish the story
SMILEY
I told him 'thanks for ruining my
Christmas' and I walked away.
LAVAR BALL
And do you think that was a nice
thing to say?
SMILEY
I mean, no, but it wasn't that bad.
Kids say worse things to their
parents all the time.
LAVAR BALL
That may be true, but I'll tell you
one thing, if any of my boys ever
told me that they'd be getting
busted lips for Christmas. And
that's a gift they'd get early!
Mhmm whoopings all around! The Big
Baller Belt will be the gift that
keeps on giving!
SMILEY
So is that why I'm here?
LAVAR BALL
Smiley, what you said to your
father was uncool and
disrespectful. And we don't do
either of those here. See, a part
of the Big Baller Brand and being a
Big Baller isn't just the apparel,
it's the attitude as well.
SMILEY
I never knew it was that deep.
LAVAR BALL
Of course it is! Those Triple B's
stand for something! It ain't just
a logo like a Crocodile, or a man
on a pony and all those other
brands I can't say because of
copyright. The Triple B's exhibit
character, and the true meaning of
Christmas
SMILEY
The birth of Jesus?
LAVAR BALL
(reconsidering)
Okay... one of the true meanings of
Christmas. You're going to learn,
what being a Big Baller is really
all about.
They arrive at a luxurious log cabin.
LaVar hops out of the sleigh and frees the reindeer to take
them to the stable.
SMILEY
Where are we?
LAVAR BALL
I told you we're going somewhere
warm. Go on inside, I gotta take
care of these reindeer.
INT. BIG BALLER TRAINING FACILITY
Smiley walks in to a hallway with purple and gold marble
floors and large portraits of the Ball brothers in action and
occasional portraits of LaVar in Red Auerbach fashion, cigar
and all.
The thuds of a basketball can be heard in a nearby court.
INT. BASKETBALL COURTS
Smiley walks further inside to see double doors wide open
revealing LONZO BALL getting shots up.
Smiley stands with his mouth agape at the sight of him before
entering.
SMILEY
Oh my gosh, you're Lonzo Ball!
LONZO
Yeah, can you rebound for me?
SMILEY
Of course I can! Are you here by
yourself? Where's LaMelo? He's my
second favorite.. Is Denise around?
LONZO
(still shooting)
Denise isn't here.
SMILEY
Well, is she going to be here soon?
I can freshen up if you show me
where the bathroom is
LONZO
She's not coming
SMILEY
Well where is she?
LONZO
She's where she's at. Don't worry
about it.
SMILEY
Understood.
Lonzo swishes a shot and Smiley jogs to retrieve it and
throws a chest pass to Lonzo.
SMILEY (CONT’D)
Hey, while I'm here, do you think
you could show me how to do that
pass where you like flick the ball
all the way across the court?
LaVar strides onto the court the way he did on that one
episode of First Take which is now a popular GIF/meme.
Lonzo stops shooting and pays attention.
LAVAR BALL
Now, where was I? Ah yes, the true
meaning of Christmas! Now Smiley,
you weren't wrong when you
mentioned Baby Jesus, but I was
thinking on more of a personal
scale. Something that you can
better identify with?
SMILEY
What's that?
LAVAR BALL
Basketball!
SMILEY
Basketball? What's that got to do
with the meaning of Christmas?
LAVAR BALL
I'm glad you asked! Look at Lonzo,
every time you watch him play,
you're seeing the true meaning of
Christmas in motion.
SMILEY
Uh.. Okay, I don't get it.
LAVAR BALL
Giving. Sacrifice. Putting others
before yourself. Lonzo is an assist
machine. There isn't a rookie who
gets more dimes than him. You see
it. The flashy passes, the flick
passes across the court, nobody's
doing it like Lonzo! In doing this
he makes his teammates better
because he puts them first. Lonzo
could get 50 a night if he wasn't
passing so much, but he knows it's
more important to share the wealth
and get everybody else involved
SMILEY
Lonzo can't average 50 a night with
that shot.
LONZO
(sucks teeth)
Tighten up.
SMILEY
I'm just saying..
LAVAR BALL
We ain't even on that. Look, the
point is Lonzo places his teammates
scoring above his. Why? Because
it's what the team needs. Jesus was
born to assist all of us and die
for our sins. Which is the ultimate
sacrifice.
SMILEY
Oh I get it! So if Lonzo is Jesus,
then that means you're God!
LaVar pauses, uncertain whether Smiley is serious.
SMILEY (CONT’D)
Ha ha, that was a joke. Wow, tough
crowd. I get it though, when I was
mad about my dad not buying the
ZO2s, I was only thinking about
myself. I didn't think about my
sister, mom or grandma and how
buying those shoes would affect
them. I never even thought of what
I should get them and they've
always given me a gift. I need to
think about the ones I love more
than I think about me, because they
do that for me every day.
LAVAR BALL
Now you got it! You see, Smiley, to
be a Big Baller means making the
right sacrifices.
LEBRON JAMES (O.S.)
And making the right sacrifices is
what being a great baller is all
about.
Smiley, Lonzo and LaVar look around to see where that voice
came from. LEBRON JAMES appears from the bleachers.
SMILEY
OH MY GOSH, LEBRON JAMES!
LEBRON JAMES
What's happening, Smiley! I heard
you needed to learn about the true
meaning of Christmas
LAVAR BALL
Yeah, well you're about 10 minutes
too late for that, Bron Bron. I'm
already wrapping up this after
school special
LONZO
How did you get here?
LEBRON JAMES
I drove. Anyways, Smiley, in
addition to being an all-around
dominant player, I pride myself
most in being able to facilitate
and make my teammates better.
Because I've always believed that
it's better to give than receive.
And that's the true meaning of
Christmas
SMILEY
Wow, thanks, LeBron!
LONZO
That's basically what my dad just
said.
LEBRON JAMES
Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to have a
second voice on the matter.
LAVAR BALL
That wasn't no second voice, that
was an echo! Why are you even
here?! I told you I had this
covered.
LEBRON JAMES
Well, Smiley needs to learn life
lessons from his favorite player.
LAVAR BALL
He already got life lessons from
his favorite rookie
SMILEY
Actually, Lonzo didn't talk much
LAVAR BALL
Lonzo don't got to say nothing!
Just sit back and watch him work!
(to LeBron)
Why don't you take whatever car you
drove here on and head back to
Ohio. Teach your boys some life
lessons.
LeBron walks up to LaVar. They are chest to chest.
LEBRON JAMES
For the second time, keep my kids'
name out your mouth, keep my family
out your mouth. I'm not gonna tell
you again
LAVAR BALL
Or what? You better save that
touchy, Macho act for Kanter! This
is Big Baller territory, baby!
Ain't no playgrounds here!
SMILEY
Okay, guys, you served your purpose.
I learned my lesson, can I go home
now?
LEBRON JAMES
Hold on, Smiley, I'm about to
settle this.
LAVAR BALL
Settle what? You can't settle
anything because I've already won.
Did you forget? I'm undefeated,
NEVA LOST!
Smiley sighs and finds his way out.
SMILEY
Good luck with the rest of the rest
of the season, Lonzo, tell Denise I
said hi.
LONZO
Aite, fasho...
(realizing the last thing
Smiley said)
Wait, hold up!
Smiley heads out to the door and the cold winds carry him
into the sky.
INT. SMILEY'S ROOM - MORNING
Smiley wakes up thinking up his dream. He looks at the LeBron
poster hanging on his wall and realizes what he has to do.
END SCENE.
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