Tuesday, June 13, 2017

A salty LeBron fan vents

In 2012 I turned in my Los Angeles Laker Hater Card after witnessing the Mavs sweep them a year prior and the Lakers' quick spiral into irrelevance. In 2013 I became a part time Chicago Bulls Hater after they snapped the Miami Heat’s 27 game win streak which included Kirk Hinrich bear hugging LeBron and LeBron getting called for fouling. The Bulls too slipped into irrelevance and I turned in my membership in the Summer of 2016. That summer I applied for a part time membership for the Golden State Warriors Hater Card. After KD's cowardly decision I am pleased to say that I have since upgraded my membership to Full Time Hater with an emphasis on Kevin Durant. Yes, KD is legend and HOF. But Summer 2016 KD is the point where all my respect for him has gone. I am no longer able to look at him as anything more than a mentally weak, wannabe tough guy who ceaselessly runs his mouth, has mood swings with the media, and took the easy way out to win a championship and beat LeBron. He may be one of the greatest players in the world, but he is not a competitor. He will never be a competitor as long as he’s a member of the Warriors.

There’s nothing I can say about KD being soft that hasn’t already been said. He blew a 3-1 lead against the Warriors in the Western Conference Finals after being swept by them in the regular season. At the end of last season he was fronting like he wasn’t going to leave, only to announce in July that he was joining the Warriros and didn’t even have the decency to tell his teammates, coach or the front the office of OKC. THEN he had the nerve, the temerity, the unmitagtaed gall to say that he took the hardest road because he’s never lived in California and he doesn’t know anybody there. Somebody pass me the freaking Kleenex, Kev’s gotta make new friends!

There’s a scene in The Godfather where Michael Corleone confronts Carlo Rizzi, his brother-in-law who got Michael’s brother, Sonny, killed. He asks Carlo which member of the Five Families did he consult with to conspire against Sonny and Carlo denies doing such a thing. Unbeknownst to him Michael had all the heads of the rival families killed already. He just wants to know who Carlo was working with. In that scene Michael looks at Carlo and says “Don’t tell me you’re innocent. Because it insults my intelligence and it makes me very angry.” Carlo confesses and minutes later is killed by one of Micahel’s men. Kevin Durant saying that going to a new setting is the hardest road insults all of our intelligence. Had he spoke at that press conference and shrugged his shoulders and said “Hey man, I can’t get to the Finals again with OKC. I’m not enough of a leader to get us to beat Golden State and I want to win a ring ASAP, so eff it. Can’t beat em, join em” at least he’d be honest. But instead he acted like a coward and didn’t own up to it. For that, Kevin Durant lost my respect as a basketball player and a man.

I pray that the Los Angeles Clippers realize that they are a lost cause and implode. In the process I hope Chris Paul goes to San Antonio and gives the Spurs much needed fire power. I hope during the summer Kawhi Leonard gets adamantium in his ankles so the next time Zaza tries something he breaks his own foot in the process. I hope the entire NBA comes together and vies to oust the Warriors the same way it did with the Big Three Era Miami Heat. Next summer I want to see Warrior fans in tears, I want Stephen Curry to have his towel on top of his head in defeat. It might take a couple of years but I believe if all 29 teams put their heads together they can take out Golden State. As great as it would be to see the Cavs crush them in next year’s Finals I don’t want to see a fourth round. Let the Cavs beat another team in the West.

Oh, and for the record, the Warriors sweeping through the Western conference deserves an asterisk considering that every team they faced suffered an injury to a star player. The Blazers didn’t have Josuf Nurkic (although I know they would’ve still gotten swept), the Jazz didn’t have George Hill (they could’ve mayyyyybe stole one game), and the Spurs didn’t have Tony Parker and Kawhi Leonard who was thoroughly kicking Golden State’s ass in the first three quarters of Game 1 before Zaza Pachulia took matters into his own foot. All the teams the Warriors beat in the playoffs weren’t at their healthiest. That’s not the Warriors’ fault but it should be mentioned whenever that 12-0 crap is brought up. So all that Warriors being the greatest team ever talk needs to hush a little bit.

People say that Kevin Durant ruined the NBA season, KD had a response to that which he should’ve been fined for. I disagree with this. We had a triple double bonanza with James Harden, Russell Westbrook, and Nikola Jokic, Devin Booker 70 points towards the end of the season, the Knicks continued to provide us with the greatest sports themed soap opera, and Isaiah Thomas’s fourth quarter heroics were a pleasure to watch. Yeah the season ended predictably but it still had its moments that weren’t LeBron and Golden State related. However; that doesn’t negate the fact that Kevin Durant is a cupcake. I’ve worked in a bakery before and I’ve seen that a cupcake with a ring on top of it is still a cupcake. Rings don’t change what you always were, Kevin Durant.  

And one more thing, this year’s Finals prove that the Warriors can’t beat the Cavs when they are at full health without a super team. That says something about Stephen Curry, so when it comes time to discuss greatest players ever and leaders, his name shouldn’t even be in the top 10.

Thursday, June 8, 2017

40 (Somewhat) Inspirational Kanye Lyrics for Everyday Life

Today is a day that should be celebrated worldwide. On this day, 40 years ago, the greatest artist of our generation was born. It's not hyperbole to say Kanye is the GOAT. Kanye West has been a big inspiration to me and no matter what he gets in the tabloids for nowadays or how his new music sounds, I will always be a fan. Like Donald Glover, I am a student of Kanye. I'm still learning from him as he continues to create, inspire and speak his mind. In honor of Kanye's 40th birthday, here are 40 lyrics of his that are somewhat inspirational or amusing at the very least.

1.       When you’re the life of the party: “It’s amazing, I’m the reason, everybody fired up this evening”
—Amazing
2.       When your significant other wants to talk about his or her ex’s: “All them other niggas lame and you know it now/ when a real nigga hold you down you supposed to drown”
—Bound 2
3.       When you and your homies have a dry spell at the bar: "We go through too much bullshit just to mess with these drunk and hot girls"
—Drunk and Hot Girls

4.       Dealing with haters: “Now I could let the dream killers kill my self-esteem/ or use my arrogance as my steam to power my dreams”
—Last Call

5.       Being late to a job interview: “I’m living in the future, so the present is my past/ my presence is a present, kiss my ass”
—Monster
6.       Struggling to show your admiration: “If you admire somebody you should go ahead tell em/ people never get the flowers when they can smell em”
—Big Brother
7.       Finessing the system: “We claim other people’s kids on our income tax”
—We Don’t Care

8.       Dealing with haters: “If you ever wanted to ever be anything there will always be somebody that’ll shoot down any dream”
—Bring Me Down

9.       When you offend people but don’t see a need to apologize: “They say I talk with so much emphasis/oooh they so sensitive”
—Can’t Tell Me Nothing

10.     Handling rejection from a girl: “I don’t need your pussy, bitch/ I’m on my own dick”
—Power

11.     When you’re in the club and dance with more than one girl: “I’m pulling girl’s off the bench like a sixth man”
—This Way
12.     When you find out your ex has been talking junk: “Then I heard you was talking trash, hold me back I’m about to spaz”
—FourFive Seconds  
13.     Explaining to your kid where babies come from: “We was practicing/ till one day your ass bust through the packaging/ you know what though? You my favorite accident”
—Celebration  

14.     Dealing with your significant other’s past more aggressively: “I know it’s corny bitches you wish you could unfollow, I know it’s corny niggas you wish you could unswallow”
—Wolves

15.     When someone is trying to flex on you: “Don’t talk to me about style nigga, I’ll motherfucking embarrass you/ talking about clothes, I’ll motherfucking embarrass you/ hollerin about some hoes, I’ll motherfucking embarrass you”
—Theraflu
16.     When the Everest College commercials don’t speak to you: “Cuz ain’t no tuition for having no ambition, and ain’t no loans for sitting your ass at home”
—We Don’t Care
17.     When your homie catches a charge: “I got a lawyer for the case to keep what’s in my safe, safe”
—Through the Wire

18.     For the time’s when you’re feeling down: “When it feel like living’s harder than dying/ for me, giving up is way harder than trying”
—Champion

19.     For breaking up: “You weren’t happy you just pretending/ I need a happy beginning middle and ending”
—30 Hours

20.     When you walk into a class full of baddies: “I think I died in an accident cause this must be heaven”
—Touch the Sky

21.     When you run over an animal: “I'm a monster, I'm a killer, I know I'm wrong/ I'm a problem, that'll never ever be solved”
—Amazing

22.     Asking your partner to bring someone else into the bedroom: “I just wanted to ask you/ Just wanted to um, let me, how would I put this uhh/ Let's say all your friends, remember the one/ You said if you ever she would be the one/ Ok, ok, ok/ I was thinking, hypothetically/ I mean don't take this seriously/ Don't take me: I mean just, uhh, not credibly/ I'm feeling incredibly, I mean let it be/ I just let it be/ I mean you, her and me/ I mean you, her and me/ Maybe, baby, baby/ You know I was just kidding/ Unless you gon' do it”
—Addiction
23.     When your homie is pursuing a girl who’s way out of his budget: “Now I ain’t saying she a gold digger, but she ain’t messing with no broke niggas”
—Gold Digger
24.     Gym rat talk with the bros: “I wake up, all veggies no eggs, I hit the gym all chest no legs”
—30 Hours

25.     Coming to grips with addiction: “Why everything that’s supposed to be bad make me feel so good, everything they told me not to is exactly what I would/ man I tried to stop, man, I tried the best I could but”
—Addiction
26.     “Keep your nose out the sky, keep your heart to God and keep your face to the rising sun”
—Family Business

27.     Explaining to your homie that you can say “I love you” without having to say no homo: “I feel like one day you’ll understand me dawg, you can still love your man and be manly dawg”
—Family Business

28.     When studying for finals seems futile: “Told them I finished school and I started my own business/ they say “oh you graduated” no, I decided I was finished” 
—School Spirit

29.     When someone tries using their education to belittle you: “Scared to face the world, complacent career student/ some people graduate but be still stupid”
—Good Morning
30.     For work woes: “If my manager insults me again I will be assaulting him/ after I fuck the manager up, I’m going to shorten the register up”
—Spaceship

31.     When your white friend uses you as proof that he or she isn’t racist: “But let some black people walk in I bet you they show off their token blackie”
—Spaceship

32.     When you prestige in Call of Duty: “Y’all don’t know my struggle you can’t match my hustle, you can’t catch my hustle, you can’t fathom my love”
—Spaceship
33.     When you aren’t religious but pray that your team wins: “I wanna talk to God but I’m afraid cuz we ain’t spoke in so long”
—Jesus Walks

34.     For staying woke: “Racism still alive, they just be concealing it”
— Never Let Me Down

35.     For staying woke with more description: “And I basically know now/ we’ve been racially profiled/ cuffed up and hosed down/ pimped up and ho’d down”
— Two Words
36.     Getting real with your role in a failing relationship: “Never was much of a romantic/ I could never take the intimacy/ and I know I did damage/ cause the look in your eyes is killing me/ I guess you were at an advantage/ cause you can blame me for everything/ and I don’t know how I’mma manage/ if one day you just up and leave”
—Runaway
37.     When succumb to the thirst traps on Instagram: “See, I can have me a good girl, but still be addicted to the hoodrats”
—Runaway
38.     When you’re Polo down to the socks: “Ralph Lauren was boring before I wore him”
— Brand New

39.     When you hop in a Team Deathmatch lobby “And I’m back to tear it up/ haters start your engines I hear them gearing up”
—Everything I Am

40.     When people say that you look better than your pictures: “When you meet me in person, what do you feel like? I know I know I look better in real life”
—The Glory

One last one, because this was fun… When you make your first three pointer after going 0 for 6: “I can do this all day, boy/ I’m finna turn this bitch out”
—All Day 


Happy Birthday, Kanye