Catching the Big Kahuna

During my senior year of high school I applied to the Film and Television program at New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts. On March 28^th, 2014 I received the following email:

Last fall I applied to the Department of Dramatic Writing at NYU and on May 16^th, 2016 I received this email:

Getting into NYU is a dream come true. It’s been a long journey to get to this point, but unfortunately, the road ends here.

When I was 8 I traded in my hoop dreams for dreams of a career making movies. Before I even got to high school I did research on colleges with the best film programs. I looked up all the colleges that my heroes went to. I wanted to know where they went so I could follow in their footsteps. I wrote a list of the alma maters of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Matt Groening, Seth Macfarlane and Spike Lee to name a few. While doing my research I found one place in particular kept showing up. A school in the Northeast which taught the likes of Spike Lee, Woody Allen, Martin Scorsese and Neil Simon. That school was NYU.

NYU has always been a dream. There were other film schools I was looking at, but NYU was the Big Kahuna. I didn’t set my sights on the big name schools out West. Although for a brief period of time I did want to go to UCLA. But I felt that move would be too overwhelming and the LA culture wasn’t a good fit for me. There was something about New York that I found enchanting. It’s a city that boasts so much history and culture. It’s where the Harlem Renaissance took place. It’s the home of the Apollo Theater and Broadway. It’s where many writers and entertainers started their careers. I saw New York City as the ultimate hub of creativity. I thought that all the greats earn their stripes in the Big Apple. With that being said I knew I had to go to a school that was in the middle of it all.

When I first applied to NYU I knew the odds were stacked against me. I wasn’t a brainiac in high school and I had little serious film experience. The best I had to show for were my extracurricular activities and the stories I had written. Despite this I was still hopeful that would be more than enough to get in. Once I hit submit I started fantasizing about the day when I would wake up in the city that never sleeps. I often dreamt about walking around Washington Square Park and frequenting comedy clubs in Greenwich Village. I wanted to go to a Knick game on a school night. I wanted to hear authentic New York dialects and eat New York pizza. I listened to “New York, New York” by Frank Sinatra and it made me feel like I was already there. The day that I got the rejection, I was hurt but by that time I knew I wouldn’t be able to attend anyway because the cost of attendance was way out of budget.

I ended up going to a state university and I did my thing there. I wrote for the school paper and I excelled in class. All the while I still had my eyes on NYU. I knew I was going to re-apply; I just had to wait for the right moment. During my freshman year I applied to my school’s film school and I got rejected. It frustrated me but I took it as a sign that NYU was really meant to be. That summer I went back to the drawing board and looked up the deadlines to apply as a transfer student. Fall 2015 should’ve been called Redemption Time, because I spent all of my free time making sure I made the best comeback possible.

The deadline to apply as a transfer student was April 1^st. I had everything ready and submitted in November. For six months I anxiously waited, praying that I’d get an early response. I was disappointed to hear the decisions don’t come out until May. Not only was the wait too long, but it gave me barely enough time to make the proper adjustments if I were to go. I called NYU’s admissions office so many times that you would think they were on speed dial. I wanted to make sure that everything was handled on my end. I didn’t want any funny business happening when it came time to review my application. Sure enough, days before May and the start of Finals week, I call admissions and they tell me that I need to submit a new transcript and mid-term report or else my application won’t be reviewed. Once that happened, the school lost all of its majesty. I had to scramble all around campus to get signatures from my professors and get a transcript sent. I got everything done and submitted within 24 hours after receiving the news. This was rock bottom for me. I felt like all of my efforts to get things done early were a waste of time. My desire to go to NYU was at an all-time low and I grew disheartened. It didn’t help that it took about two weeks for my transcripts to be processed. At this time school was already over and we were in the beginning days of May.

I expected to be the first applicant to receive a decision. And since the decisions started rolling in May, I thought on May 2^nd I would know whether or not I got accepted. For two weeks I went about my days not knowing the results. I had people asking me if I heard anything since April so it became increasingly annoying to respond with “not yet.” There was nothing that could take my mind off the decision. It was one of the first things I thought of in the morning and one of my last thoughts before going to sleep.   

On the morning of May 16^th I was eating breakfast before heading to class. Something told me to check my email and when I did I saw that my admission decision was in. I immediately called Sunshine and told her the decision was finally in. When I read the letter I thought I got rejected because it didn’t start with the words “Congratulations.” Once I saw “it is my honor and privilege,” my heart started pounding and a smile grew across my face so wide that the corners of my lips could’ve touched.

I did it! I got in, I finally got in!!! After two years of hard work and dreaming I finally got in!

It was hard for me to sit in class that day. All I wanted to do was tell the world that I have been accepted into NYU and start apartment hunting. Mom said she cried tears of joy when I told her the news. We entertained the thought of me going for about three days. Mom reached out to my cousin in Brooklyn and asked about the best places to live. Manhattan was out of the question because an apartment there is usually around $1,200 a month. My current rent is $389 before utilities. My cousin suggested Crown Heights and Bed Stuy. We even considered me living in Jersey and taking a train to campus every day.

During that time I really believed I was going to NYU in the fall. Then reality hit. After the celebratory high wore off, it didn’t take long for the details and fine print to make us reconsider.  The cost of attendance was sky high so taking out a loan was inevitable. Yes, I had some scholarship money coming in, but it still wasn’t enough. The reality of the situation was if I went to NYU I’d graduate with a six figure debt looming over my head as opposed to finishing my two years where I’m at and getting out with a degree and no debt at all.

It was tough to come to terms with all of this. I still wanted to go, but the facts were hard to ignore. Also, I didn’t have any type of beckoning that told me NYU was the right move. There was no sign, no voice in my head aside from my own and that voice was a mere whisper. The choice was mine and I decided not to go. I was disappointed because I felt like I didn’t put up enough of a fight. If this is my dream school, I should be doing everything I can to be able to go. I should be applying for scholarships left and right. I should be looking at all the apartments in the boroughs and contacting everyone I know in New York. I wanted to fight for it, but I’ve been fighting since August and frankly, I was getting tired. The battle was over. I won, but it didn’t feel like I did.  

I wanted to go to NYU so bad because I believed that was the best place for me to be. The location was perfect and the networking opportunities were endless. It was the perfect career move and I’d be an idiot to turn that down. This whole experience has taught me a great lesson in patience. Ever since high school I wanted nothing more than to skip everything and go straight to my career. That feeling remains to this day. I saw NYU as a ticket out, a chance to start working on my goals. Well, there’s no rush. I have to enjoy the moment while I can and not worry about the future. After all, writer’s need to live life and gain experience. If something is meant to be, it will happen. Even if it’s not in a clear-cut way. NYU is a great opportunity, but it isn’t the only opportunity. I can make career moves anywhere I go and still get where I want to be. I need to stay where I’m at and work harder to make the most out of my situation. I guess all this work was put in for me to find out that I am good enough. I am good enough to get into a revered program at one of the most prominent universities in America. I am on the same level as these kids and knowing that is more than enough for me to keep going.

So for now, I’m enjoying my summer and relishing in the fact that I got in to NYU. Even though I won’t be going, it’s still an honor and a great achievement. I’d like to thank all of you who supported me through this journey and encouraged me to remain optimistic. A special shout out goes to my good friend Jordan and Sunshine for believing in me more than I believed in myself. I love you all. I can’t find my acceptance booklet, but when I do, I’m taking it to Tally with me and putting it on my desk.