Tania Torres, WIll You Go to Prom with Me?

                  What joy do people get out of asking models to go to prom with them because I was just contemplating whether or not I should ask Tania Torres (not the one from Pit bulls and Parolees) but then I thought to myself “Nah.” Here’s why:

                  When that guy asked Kate Upton to Prom, it was clear to see that he’s wasn’t “The Man” at his school. The headline should’ve been “Prepubescent Nerd Asks America’s Top Model to Prom.” There’s a reason why the captain of his school’s football team didn’t make a video like that—he already had a date!

                  This isn’t Weird Science (1985 John Hughes movie). If I brought Tania to Prom or any social event it’s not going to boost my popularity. The girls at school aren’t going to look at me differently; I’ll still be Mr. GQ no matter what. Ha! I’m kidding… Realistically, I’m probably going to get a ton of stares. Maybe one or two guys will give me dap and a few ballsy douchebags will try to dance with her.

                  But on the other hand having Tania as my prom date would be pretty cool. I mean, c’mon, it’s not everyday that something like that happens.

Oh, what the hell. Tania Torres, will you go to Prom with me?

Waitaminute this isn’t right. Allow me to properly propose: