This year’s recipients of Comic Book Guy’s “Worst. Year. Ever. Award”
are… Ray Rice, Adrian Peterson, and Donald Sterling. One man beat his kid,
the other beat his wife. The NFL hasn’t looked this bad in a while. Donald
Sterling’s history of sticking his foot in his mouth with outright ignorant
comments finally caught up to him. Not only did his side chick put him on blast
and he lost ownership of his team just when they become more serious as
championship contenders, but he can never buy a hot dog in an NBA arena.
Moment to Remember… “The
Fappening.” Nostradamus couldn’t even predict an anonymous hacker obtaining
nude selfies of high-profile celebrities and sharing them with the world. This
wasn’t a special day for me, but the way I found out about it was pretty
funny.
I was at my friend’s apartment when
his roommate’s obnoxious friend came in talking about how his boy sent him a
bunch of naked pictures of celebrities. My friend and I were playing 2K and as the
guy showed everyone the pictures, all we heard behind us was “WOAH!” “NO WAY!!”
“DAMN!!!” It was very distracting to say the least. We thought the pictures
were fakes and they were making a big deal out of it, but when I checked
Twitter that night, I realized it wasn’t a fluke and it was more than
newsworthy. I doubt the Fappening is something future generations will talk
about, but if I were ever asked where I was and what I was doing the day the
pictures leaked, I can tell them this story.
Blockbuster of the
Year… Guardians of the Galaxy. The most fun Marvel movie I’ve seen in a
while. I think it’s worth mentioning that according to BoxOfficeMojo.com none of
the Top 10 movies of 2014 are based on original stories. Wow.
SMH Moment of the
Year… Michael Brown/Ferguson, Eric Garner “I Can’t Breathe” and Bill Cosby. I won’t speak on the first
two topics but I will give my two cents on Bill Cosby. For starters, it’s not
Hannibal Buress’s fault that attention has been brought to Bill Cosby’s history
of rape allegations and women are coming out of the wood work with sexual
assault accusations. I’m not saying whether or not I believe he’s innocent, but
the media is doing to him the same thing they did to Michael Jackson: assassinating
his character and tarnishing his reputation. Smh.
(Less Serious SMH moment…) Kanye West STILL hasn’t performed at a
Super Bowl. But Katy Perry will perform Super Bowl XLIX. Smh.
Hallelujah Moment of the Year… Michael Dunn being found guilty for the murder of Jordan Davis. That case made me say “They finally got something right, for once!”
Diddy punching Drake. Rumor has it he said “You will not disrespect
me!” Before he punched him. That’s super fresh. That’s the Diddy equivalent of
“THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!” I love Drake, but if any rapper were to be involved in a
rumor like this, it would be him.
WTF Moment of the
Year… LeBron’s return to Cleveland.
I’m not sure what’s more shocking, LeBron going home or the current situation
of the Cavs. They’re ranked 5th in the East and they lost their home
opener to the Knicks. THE KNICKS!! The Knicks have yet to win 10 games!!
Kim Kardashian “Breaking the internet.” When I heard the news, I
was like “What for?” My next questions were “How much did she get paid?” and
“What the hell is ‘Paper Magazine?’” Her ‘07 Playboy spread wasn’t even as out
there as her Paper shoot. I thought maybe Kanye would disapprove and talk some
sense into her, but when I heard that he took pride in the whole thing, I gave
up.
Gone but Not
Forgotten (to name a few)… Nelson Mandela, Maya Angelou, Harold Ramis, Robin
Williams and Joan Rivers. Exactly one year ago today James Avery aka Uncle Phil passed away. May they all rest in peace.
Hood Hit Wonders…
Bobby Shmurda “Hot Boy,” OG Maco “U Guessed It” and OT Genasis “Coco” As terrible as all of
these songs are, they have all been in my phone at one point. “Hot Boy” has the best lyrics out of
the three, “U Guessed It” is the catchiest and “Coco” is downright hilarious. Who
would’ve thought a line about baking soda could be a funny? I could throw in “Tuesday” by I Love Makonnen seeing
that I doubt we’ll be hearing anymore from him in the future. Besides, Drake
isn’t at the stage in his career where he can introduce new artists to the
limelight. Oh and how can I forget DeJ
Loaf’s “Try Me.” Wow, 2014 was really a crumby year for hip hop. Still not
as bad as 2006/The Crunk Era though. Shout out to my boy Marco.
Word of the Year…
“Bae.” I can understand how last year’s word was “Selfie.” That’s kind of
original. But “Bae?” Really? We take out one letter in a four letter word and
now it’s in the dictionary. Is this not a sign that the American vernacular is
getting lazier?
This year’s recipients of the Good Year Blimp Award goes to… Taylor Swift for continuing to sell
millions of records without being able to sing well. Sam Smith for being the next unlikely household name from Britain.
The Dallas Cowboys for ending their
playoff drought and being Super Bowl contenders. Florida State University’s football team and women’s soccer team. The women’s soccer team had an undefeated
season and won its first College Cup. FSU’s football team also finished the
season undefeated and is on the road to repeat as BCS National Champions.
Predictions/
Wishlist
Ø
I wish Kanye and Kendrick will actually release
the albums they were supposed to release last October. At this point, I’d be
content with an album title and cover art.
Ø
North West and Blue Ivy will go on a highly
publicized play date. They’ll
probably be little league soccer teammates in 2016 and they probably won’t win
the championship.
Ø
A bunch of crappy movie sequels and re-boots
will be made. We will definitely see another forgotten kid’s toy make an
unnecessary appearance on the big screen.
Ø
Chris Brown and Rihanna will get married. It’s a
stretch but they still have feelings for each other even after all of the stuff
that they’ve been through. And with Karrueche out of the picture, why not? I
can see them exchanging vows when they’re both past their prime.
Ø
Rick Ross will run a marathon. He’s already lost
so much weight. It’s not too far out.
Ø
I wish Netflix will bring back Spongebob, Drake
and Josh and The Odd Couple. I predict Martin, the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and
Seinfeld (which is reportedly in the talks right now) will be added to the
lineup.
Ø
Kenan and Kel will reunite. This is a prediction and a wish. Kel’s been on the
independent scene lately and Kenan is still on SNL. Neither of them would be
making a career sacrifice if they did a movie together. At least do an SNL
sketch together! Dare I say “Good Burger reunion?” C’mon guys, get out of your
feelings, Kenan!
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