Monday, September 21, 2015

What a Time to Be a Cynic

Have I become a crotchety old coot? Am I officially a hip hop snub? I don’t understand the hype with this mixtape. Yesterday, Future and Drake released their highly anticipated collaborative project What a Time to Be Alive. This collab got the hypebeasts working overtime since the picture of the OVO owl drenched in dirty sprite—which should’ve been the cover art instead of that ridiculously lazy stock image rip-off of Watch the Throne—went viral.

If you were to go on Twitter or Google right now, you’d see a majority of people foaming out of their mouths in hysteric support of this mixtape. Even LeBron James endorsed it on his Instagram. It appears that the few who share the same thoughts as me have been drowned out. Well, hopefully this allows their voices to be heard. In my most humble opinion, this mixtape is not good.

           WATTBA sounds like Drake and Future had a sleepover, pulled an all-nighter in the studio and released everything they made. Knowing wholeheartedly that people will lose their minds over it no matter how it sounds. This isn’t even good on mixtape standards. In this day and age when the line between mixtapes and albums is blurred, this doesn’t matchup to an Acid Rap or Cilvia EP Demo. I don’t care that they made this in six days. We’re still getting charged $10 for this. Four more dollars than days it took to make this. Does anybody else see what’s wrong with this?
               
            Some of you might already know my thoughts on Drake. He’s a great rapper, definitely a titan, but I can’t call him a legend. It’s hard for me to bow in respect to a guy who made his own lane, stuck to it, and only battles those who he knows he can defeat. And let’s not forget his disgustingly obnoxious fans. Drake fans have easily beaten Eminem fans in being the most annoying fans in recent hip hop history. Drake can say he’s better than Pac and his OVOverly sycophantic fandom will run with it.

I’m not a Future fan or a hater. To tell you the truth, I didn’t think he was going to last two years when I first saw his “Same Damn Time” music video at the barbershop. I don’t understand where and how he became a rockstar. Maybe it’s because I’m not about that “Trap N_gga” lifestyle nor do I aspire to be. I see Future for what he is, a trap rapper. There isn’t much depth that comes with it so I never expect anything from him. Even though I don’t have any expectations for Future, I hoped that he would at least try to step up and compete against Drake in this project. Instead, he respectfully did his own thing, making sure to compliment Drake and not step on his toes. Drake used Future’s flow and did it better than him not once but on various occasions like “I’m the Plug” and “Plastic Bag.”

Tell me something, why is it that Kanye with his jaw wired shut, 50 Cent who got shot in the cheek, and Consequence who has at least 50 teeth in his mouth all sound clearer than Future? Let’s be honest, this man either mumbles or repeats the same thing over and over when he runs out of simplistic, drug dealer galore things to say. Does this guy have halitosis or something? Why can’t he open his mouth? It’s not just him, Young Thug and one of, if not all, the members of Migos use this tactic as a crutch.

People criticized Kanye and Jay-Z when Watch the Throne came out. They said that taking pre-orders before an official release date was announced, and the title itself were arrogant. Watch the Throne is a way more justifiable title than What a Time to Be Alive. Is this a time to be alive because of all the progress our society has made in battling racism and sexism? Is it a time to be alive because hip hop has seen its best year in recent history? No, it’s a time to be alive because Drake and Future can do something in six days, slap a price tag on it and reap the benefits.

How come nothing substantial has yet to “break the internet?” Some of you might be annoyed that I didn’t do an in-depth review of this. There’s nothing to look at. This is bump in the whip music at best. I can barely get jiggy to this. I can’t take anything away from this and reflect on it years down the road. Not Drake’s supposed subliminal Rihanna diss on “Diamonds Dancing,” not Drake’s “30 for 30 freestyle” which even that was mediocre, and especially not Drake’s line in “Jumpman:”  

“Jumpman jumpman jumpman them boys up to something/ Uh, uh, uh I think I need some Robitussin”

Man, that was terrible. What’s worse is that line is going to be shouted by millions of club goers and concert attendees in the near future. “Big Rings” may not be as repetitive as “Worst Behavior” but it’s more annoying and unimaginative. Hyped up and rushed productions should not be released. That goes for all types of art. Regardless of whether this project was supposed to be anything more than 11 bangers, I can’t get behind this. Not with all the hype that surrounds it. If this goes platinum, it won’t be a good statement for hip hop. Maybe it’s best for titans not to collaborate. Maybe hip hop is meant to be strictly competitive 24/7. Or maybe Kendrick Lamar and J. Cole need to work on their collaboration to show us how it’s done. 

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