Chronicles of the College Boy: Fallout and Chill?

   
     I’ve got a question, America: Why is binge watching acceptable, but playing videogames isn’t? 

     How come if I tell people about how I’ve been watching Dexter all day I’m met with smiles and conversation, but if I talk about my latest adventures in Fallout 4, suddenly I’m getting the side eye?

     Seriously, if you tell someone you played a video game for three hours you might as well have a cocked eye, a scraggly beard and foam coming out of your mouth.

How my loved ones see me right now.

     Maybe it’s because generally binge watchers make better water-cooler conversation than gamers. I don’t consider myself a gamer, but I understand them.

     Lately I’ve been playing a whole lot of Fallout 4. It’s all I have right now because I won’t be home for the holidays until Sunday. I stayed here to pick up some extra work. I’m working two jobs now. At night I’m a bartender at the local teen club and during the day I pick oranges. I got the night job after showing the owner my special mix of southern iced tea and root beer. It went over well with the kids and we’re in talks of getting a patent. Take that, Brandon!

     If I were to describe Fallout 4 in one word it’d be heavenly. It’s the most fun I’ve had with a videogame since NBA 2K11. I’m currently a level 8 or 9 and I just rescued Nick Valentine. I did a few side missions for the Minutemen, but I still have a lot to see and do. I didn’t modify a weapon or create a settlement yet. 

     The graphics are amazing. War torn Boston in 2287 is so much more vibrant than the doodoo green Capital Wasteland in Fallout 3. Having your character speak and the dialogue options are cool. The live action combat is extremely fluid; I no longer feel compelled to spam the V.A.T.S. button. I love the game, but it has its blemishes.

     My biggest issue is with the story. I read somewhere that for seven years the story developers sat around eating pot brownies and watching Disney movies. One dude brought Finding Nemo and once the movie was over, they went to White Castle, came back and started working on the script.

     You play a man or woman who hunts down the people who murdered your spouse and kidnapped your newborn son. In Fallout 3, your dad escapes the vault and you have to find him. When you do, you discover he was part of something big and you get thrown in the middle of it. In Fallout New Vegas, you are shot and left for dead. When you find the person who shot you, you find out he was part of something big and you get thrown in the middle of it. Now in Fallout 4, it’s looking like the same freaking thing. We waited seven years for a post-apocalyptic Pixar adaption. 

     The levels of difficulty are actually legit. In Fallout 3, playing on hard versus playing on easy was a matter of how many shotgun shells does it take to blow a raider’s head off. In Fallout 4 playing on normal provides a decent challenge. Actually, "challenge" might be an understatement because I have the life expectancy of a carnival goldfish.

     I’ve played about six hours and half of the time has been spent getting dropped like a fly. I’ve been killed by mongrels, mosquitoes, raiders, creepy new wave religion freaks, mutants, defense turrets and raiders. In Fallout 3, two mutants at once was no challenge. Now, I’m better off sprinting the other way. This is good because it makes the game more realistic. Meaning I have to be less Barney Ross and more Rambo. 

     Weapons overall got stronger. As my good buddy Justin said about Fallout 3 “It felt like you were shooting pop rocks at them.”     

     
     So far the biggest "F--- you" from the game has been the lock picking mechanics. Gone are the days when you had three chances before the bobby pin broke but you could replenish your chances by backing out after the second attempt. Now, your pin can break after the first try.

     The second biggest "F--- you" is legendary enemies. These are bad guys with actual names but no dialogue option. I guess legendary means they can take a whole extended clip to the face and the worst that can happen is them getting a bloody nose.

     Oh and the freaking recoil on some of these guns.. Your character supposedly fought in the third World War yet he or she can’t keep an automatic pistol steady if his or her life depended on it. I hope there’s a sleight of hand perk because reloading while in action is irritatingly slow.  

     Well, I’m off to play some more. That guy who killed my wife is going down. I don’t care about my son. I spent 20 minutes making my wife look like Halle Berry only to see her get killed within 10 minutes. Fallout 4 is a fantastic game that’s worth every penny and all of the hype. And it’s definitely worth losing points with your girl like buddy did on Tinder.