They're Just Not That into You

UF: “Hey, Deion!”

Me: “What?”

UF: “I don’t see how you can hate from outside of the campus; you weren’t even accepted! Hahaha *Gator Chomp*”

Me: “Up yours.”

        I just got rejected from UF and I’m feeling a mixture of: anger, bitterness, and indifference. I was on a 7 for 7 hot streak with schools until now. It’s like I was at the club getting attention from all these girls but this one stuck-up, gap tooth chick wouldn’t give me the time of day. So I said:

       “FORGET YOU, TRICK! YOU AND YOUR GAP TOOTH!”

        UF wasn’t my dream school, so I’m not sweating this one too much. I didn’t necessarily put a lot of emotion in any of the application processes. I’m not the type of person who would cry if he got deferred. The moment I saw my letter didn’t start with “Congratulations!” I knew I was getting the friend card.

        “You can’t be a student but feel free to root for our sports teams, apply to our nearby community college and try to get into our frat parties!” That’s basically what they told me.   

         Getting rejected by a college stings; it’s like getting pricked in the finger at the pediatrician’s office. It doesn’t hurt to the point where I want to cry but it’s uncomfortable enough for me to not want to go through it again. Rejection letters should just say “Thanks for playing.” Because nobody takes time to read all sympathetic BS.

        If you see me around, don’t approach me with some “Hey, Deion, sorry about UF, bro.” I don’t want to hear it. Don’t rub it in my face. Especially if you got accepted, because I know you’re only being factitious.   

        Can I get half my time and money back at least? That application was overly complicated for no reason. The least the admission heads can do is give me 3 hours of my time back. That would end the relationship on better terms. Tally here I come; unless NYU has something to say about that... Congrats to those that did get accepted though!

                But in all seriousness, f*ck UF.