Tania Torres, Will You– What? It's Your Birthday? Alright..

Better late than never.
     
          First and foremost, thanks to all who saw my promposal video and wrote encouraging comments on Tania's IG. If you're clueless right now here's the link: http://deisainvil.blogspot.com/2014/05/tania-torres-will-you-go-to-prom-with-me.html

          Unfortunately Tania could not attend my senior prom due to her already made plans to celebrate her birthday weekend. I wasn't mad about it. If anything I was mad at myself for not asking for a rain check. I had the opportunity but I was too caught up in the Heat game. I know, I'm ashamed of myself too. Oh well, I still had a great time at prom

           During the week that the video was released I was faced with a few FAQs:

How did you know about her?  I knew about her through her sister Tammy. I knew about Tammy after seeing her in Lil Wayne's "Mrs. Officer" music video.

How old is she? I have no idea. All I know is her birthday is around May 17th and she's a Taurus.

How do you know she didn't lie to you? She didn't. Look at her IG.

What would you do if she did lie to you? I dunno. Lock myself in the bathroom with a bowl of  Haagen-Dazs and lurk on her pictures with Bobby Vinton's "Mr. Lonely" on repeat. The hell kind of question is that?!

          I hope that video sets the standard for guys asking models through video. There are too many videos out there making these guys look soft. Thanks for all the support! My school year ended so, like always, I will be doing a ton of writing this summer. Stay tuned.

Tania Torres, WIll You Go to Prom with Me?

                  What joy do people get out of asking models to go to prom with them because I was just contemplating whether or not I should ask Tania Torres (not the one from Pit bulls and Parolees) but then I thought to myself “Nah.” Here’s why:

                  When that guy asked Kate Upton to Prom, it was clear to see that he’s wasn’t “The Man” at his school. The headline should’ve been “Prepubescent Nerd Asks America’s Top Model to Prom.” There’s a reason why the captain of his school’s football team didn’t make a video like that—he already had a date!

                  This isn’t Weird Science (1985 John Hughes movie). If I brought Tania to Prom or any social event it’s not going to boost my popularity. The girls at school aren’t going to look at me differently; I’ll still be Mr. GQ no matter what. Ha! I’m kidding… Realistically, I’m probably going to get a ton of stares. Maybe one or two guys will give me dap and a few ballsy douchebags will try to dance with her.

                  But on the other hand having Tania as my prom date would be pretty cool. I mean, c’mon, it’s not everyday that something like that happens.

Oh, what the hell. Tania Torres, will you go to Prom with me?

Waitaminute this isn’t right. Allow me to properly propose:  

That Awkward Moment When You Get People Excited and Disappoint Them All…

            Well this is awkward, huh? Listen, I know I owe you all something but the truth is the video is still in post-production. My editor is a very busy man and he hasn’t been able to finish it. We shot new scenes and had a few scheduling conflicts so I had to push it back. What can I say? That’s life.

            So I might as well tell you who the video is for… Tania Torres. Not the one from Pit bulls and Parolees, I’m asking the model who lives in Miami. She’s not necessarily a Kate Upton, meaning she doesn’t have a bunch of pictures on Google. You can hit up her Instagram—itstaniatorres. She has an older sister, Tammy, who is a lot more popular. You can look her up, too—tammy_torres. While you’re at it, feel free to follow me—a_noied_livnias. As you can see they’re both beautiful; we could have a discussion about which one we prefer but we’ll save that for the comment section.

            Believe me, I’m probably more bummed about this than you. What makes me even more disappointed is the fact that the point behind this video is meaningless now. The deadline for bringing non-student guests to my prom has passed and guests cannot be over 20 years old. Yeah, supposedly that rule is enacted to prevent +21 year old from coming to prom and giving under-aged kids booze. Because we all know that teenagers are super sober Prohibitionists, right? I’m not going to say anymore on this because the feds are watching, and by feds I mean my school’s administrators.

            Just know that my expired promposal is 90% done and you will see it eventually. In the meantime, my next post is about nudes so stay tuned for that. It should be up within the next 24 hours.

Teaser

               Hello, everyone! I know it’s been over a month since my last post but I assure you that I am still alive and I don’t have Writer’s Block. Since my last post I have been working hard on trying not to fail a class in my last quarter of high school. Here’s a word of advice to the underclassmen out there: don’t take a bunch of AP classes during your senior year. In case your following question is “Where are you going to college?” The answer is Florida State University. Yeah, so I have even more of a reason to dislike UF.

                I’m also working on something big. I won’t tell you exactly what it is but you will all be able to witness it. Stay tuned for more mix and a chance to see me make a complete fool of myself and look fresh doing it. The anticipated date is 4-17-14 or sooner.   

Happy Valentine's Day? Pt. 3

            In Part 2 I said I hate obligatory actions. What do I mean by that? Anytime that people do something because of the date or because everyone else is doing it bothers the crap out of me. If you love your mom, love your mom. Don’t wait until Mother’s Day to do something nice for her!

            You see, I’m a romantic person (At least, I think so. I haven’t had a girlfriend to verify that.) Regardless, when it comes to doing things that’ll make girls say “Awwww,” I put in work. So, to me, Valentine’s Day is my day-off. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll make a little effort; I’ll cooperate. But on that day, I expect the royal treatment. I expect to kick back and relax while my significant other plays me in 2K, puts her Freak’em dress on, and makes reservations for Applebee’s. That’s how I would like it to be. It’s probably not going to go down like that for me though.

           Guys born on Valentine’s Day like my brother Robert have it good. Technically, they don’t have to do anything. Everything that I described that I would want is a possibility for them. For guys like my cousin who has a girlfriend, an anniversary, and his mother’s birthday all in February, I feel sorry for y’all.

           Happy Valentine’s Day, people. If you hated today think about this—next month’s holiday is all about getting drunk and lucky, so cheer up. 

http://deisainvil.blogspot.com/2014/02/happy-valentines-day_14.html
http://deisainvil.blogspot.com/2014/02/happy-valentines-day-pt-2.html

Happy Valentine's Day? Pt. 2

                It took me awhile but I finally realized why a lot of people don’t like this day. For 24 hours, anybody who isn’t in a relationship is forced to play the third wheel. Whether it be hearing about what others have planned with their boyfriend or girlfriend or seeing gratuitous amounts of cheesy PDA, Cupid is fluttering in our faces, reminding us of our relationship status. The older you get, the more it sucks when you’re single.

               Elementary and middle school had me thinking everyone had a chance to find a special someone. Boy was I wrong, if you don’t have a special someone by Februrary 14^th, you won’t have one the next day. And if you’re the type of person to wait and anticipate romance on this day, you need to come to reality. Either that or go on eHarmony.

               If Valentine’s Day to you is all about the candy, then you’re doing it right. I can’t stand obligatory actions; I’ll explain more in Part 3.

              Before I go I want to ask this question—is it mandatory for men who are in relationships with teachers to go to their spouse’s school on Valentine’s Day? I’m looking at these guys and I’m like, “Where the Hell were you in August?” Maybe it’s a coincidence. Maybe all the teachers’ cars broke down or one guy decided to visit his lady at work and a bunch of other guys decided to do the same. Either way, it seems like these men do it to enhance their chances of getting play. Hey, more power to them if it works.

In case you didn’t already read it: http://deisainvil.blogspot.com/2014/02/happy-valentines-day_14.html

Happy Valentine's Day?

             Here’s what happened to me on the quote on quote “Most Romantic Day of the Year.” I hope yours was better than mine.

                              I woke this morning from a weird dream that I didn’t get accepted to UF. Ha, what foreshadowing: http://deisainvil.blogspot.com/2014/02/theyre-just-not-that-into-you.html

               I did my morning routine whilst listening to Outkast’s “The Love Below” because it’s only right. Frosted Flakes were on the menu, with the gummy bear vitamin, breakfast of champions. Went to school—same ol’ same ol’—this time only with more red, flowers, chocolates, and big @ss teddy bears. Love was nowhere near the air I was breathing. Instead there was bacteria because everyone around me had a cold.

                              1^st hour: Managed to evade a test and finished watching Westside Story on Netflix.

                              2^nd hour: Took a quiz on allusions and read Heart of Darkness as a class.

                              3^rd hour: 95% of the class went ice skating so I had a party in another teacher’s classroom with red velvet cake and salty pink lemonade. After we ate, we watched a bunch of YouTube videos about cute kids. Eh, beats being with underclassmen.

                              4^th hour: Reviewed for a test coming next week.

             After school I stayed in class until 5, prepping for the test. Walked 4 blocks home with 4 bags in my hands. I got home, found out I got rejected from you-know-who (Fxck y’all!) and got a call from my boy talking about the nachos at Moe’s. He came over and we went and got them. Little did we know, it was Nacho Friday. Yay us. We came back to my house and listened to some rap music (mostly Kendrick). He left around 9 and since then I’ve been writing.

             I wish I can tell you my Valentine’s Day was unforgettable, I wish I could tell you that I  got the girl of my dreams to be my Valentine and I stole her heart as we drove off into the sunset in a 2014 Nissan GTR with the top down. I wish I could tell you those things… but the truth is the only arousal I got all day was saving 2 bucks on Nachos.